Well I have a scanner! Woo Hoo! So soon my friends soon.
Anyway, I kind of just wanted to talk or rant. I don't have anyone really to talk about this with. I don't even talk about it with my therapist. So please don't judge me. I just want to get this off my chest.

It all starts when I am young, fourth or third grade, you know the innocent time. Well I got a crush, and the curse began. Ever since then, everyone that I have ever had a crush on as never liked me back or even noticed me. And it really hit hard these last couple of years. I have never dated in my life. Which is understandable, I am very anti-social. But the last two people I liked have been complete jerks to me. I didn't even annoy them, perhaps a hi how are you once in while. But that is it. I was hoping the current guy I like would be different, and he hasn't. He avoids me and pretends like I don't exist. And there is no one else in my school that I like, and I could broaden the people I know outside of school, but I am an introvert. And to make matters worse, I found out that he is dating someone from his old school, which sucks, and I just want to wake up without any feelings for him, you  know? I guess its all about growing up. And I hate it. Or at least start over. Or be friends. I don't really know. And no one knows about this whole ordeal, anyone I know in the flesh. And I just feel alone recently. Maybe its my meds, or the fact I have no one to talk to. Which is why I am talking to the computer. I wish it was all over. And I had someone to talk to and hang out with, for my friends live far away and no one likes me. No one never has. I don't think its the way I look, but i am not the beautifulest person ever and I have my flaws, but people tend to tell me that I am pretty. The could be lying. I don't know. UUUGHHHH. Life just sucks sometimes.

And to another unrelated subject, A little insight to somethings around me.
I have a cousin. Who dresses very scene and such. Very bright, and flashy. She doesn't want to fit in. But yet she does, everyone knows her and likes her. I on the other hand dress less scene and more vintage/eccentric (which has nothing really to do with this but anyway..) I don't fit in. I have few friends, no one really knows who I am. And I want to fit in , in a sense that people know me, and that people aren't afraid of me. But it will never happen. I am cursed with an introverted personality. People are afraid of me because I don't speak much and keep to myself.
So thats about it. If you read this then thanks for listening.
Until the end my friends.
SNLFire